-I must have been nuts, going to medical school. What was I thinking? I forgot one of my key cardinal flaws when I signed up: I'm the type of person who likes to be the smartest person around. Now I'm not even the smartest person in an empty classroom -- the extreme mental genius of other people in my class seems to remain after they've left, as a kind of psychic shadow.
-I'm a little too chill about how little I know about everything. I'm hoping that I'll be more motivated to learn things next year, when what I know or don't know actually has an impact on people. People other than me. I don't know why screwing MYSELF over isn't enough of an impetus to study.
-The computer room, where I've been spending most of my days lately, is a fun little mecca of studying and procrastination. People come and go, to and from food, the study room, the lounge, home, or other classrooms. The same faces tend to show up again and again. Right now, the popular procrastination tool is Facebook Scrabbulous games. I don't have this application as I don't trust these dodgy little Facebook accessories, but I know all about how it works. One of my classmates in particular tends to play it quite loudly, with the entire room, whether they want to participate or not: "Is GLIM a word? GLIM? Anyone? What do you think? Hm, I'll look it up in the dictionary. OH, it's NOT. That's too bad. Hm, how many points would it have gotten me? Oh, 15, that's not so great anyway. What else can I do...?"
Other things I've learned about and discussed while studying here in just the past day: the existence, organization, history, and ethical question of NAMBLA; Anne Geddes and the fact that her stuff is really kinda creepy; the 1993 Canadian federal election, particularly the infamous Conservative smear campaign focusing (allegedly) on Liberal leader Jean Chretien's facial nerve palsy; Wikipedia as the repository of all human knowledge; the fact that Rembrandt had stereo blindness. Ok, maybe not so much about genitourinary anatomy. But that's ok.
-I really want to make these cookies: Minty Chocolate Christmas Cookies. But I suspect that that's too much procrastination, even for me.
-I'm going to see Golden Compass tonight, so I'd better get back to studying.
-But not before I post this YouTube video, which is awesome:
Frankly, as far as I'm concerned, cardiology and new age healing are on about the same plane. A cardiologist saying to me "Listen! Just there, at the left sternal border! It's very subtle, but you can hear it. Just tune in...let it unfold to your ear...you'll hear it, it's there!" is about the same as a psychic saying "Ah, yes, I can see it clearly. Your aura is pulsing blue and gold. It's lovely. Just spend some more time getting in touch with your inner eye and you'll see it! It's there!" It's not that I necessarily doubt either practitioner. I just can't sense what they're sensing, and I'm pretty sure that I never will.
The thing is, as a med student, I'm supposed to think cardiology is the acme of cool, even if I don't plan to go into it. I'm supposed to swoon at the thought of hearing a mid-systolic click and go into raptures at the barest hint of an S3 sound. I have a hard time mustering the required enthusiasm, and I'm pretty sure my preceptors can tell. But I'd be lying if I said I could hear anything special with that expensive stethoscope toy of mine.
And either all my classmates have far more acumen than I do, or they're stretching the truth a little too....
Let it never be said that profs are without a sense of humour
Today we cut out and dissected Blanche's heart.
There are too many places to go with this, and I don't know where to start. Just one of the wonderfully ironic things that happen when you're in the cardio block on Valentine's day.
Given what I've seen this morning, I hope any hearts you are given today are either metaphorical, or chocolate. :)
I was just printing off lecture notes for tomorrow, and...
...for real, some prof has posted 97 pages of notes. For a two-hour lecture on dentistry. Two days before our block exam, on which this lecture will be tested.
I'm glad that I read through the anatomy lab instructions on my way to school this morning. I usually do, but I didn't realize that I had a lab today until about 9 this morning so I wasn't sure I was going to get time. Thank heavens I did, because halfway down the first page, I spied this:
Prior to the lab, the heads will have been removed from the cadavers and bisected in the median (mid-sagittal) plane. Because the nasal septum usually deviates to one side...
Wait, wait, back up. YOU DECAPITATED BLANCHE?
Blanche is the name of my group's cadaver. I don't know why we named her, but most groups do. It seems to make the dissections easier to handle, although you'd think it would have the opposite effect. Mostly I think it just disseminates tension.
We've been learning from Blanche for just over a term now. Everything we know about muscles and nerves and arteries and tendons has been worked out on her. I know her dissections inside and out, pretty much literally. We've gotten used to her being in a certain state of degradation. We cut her skin and reflected fascia and dug around to expose things that are normally not exposed, but somehow that didn't change her essential Blanche-ness. We got to know her, in a weird, morbid way.
So I'm glad I was warned ahead of time that, when I got to the lab today, her face would no longer be recognizable. (Or, like, attached to the rest of her.) Because now, she's substantially less human, and despite everything we've already done, this could still have come as a shock. Cut open was one thing. Cut into three pieces is another.
Don't get me wrong -- lab today was wicked cool. I've never before seen a dissection that looks...exactly like the textbook picture. And Blanche's falx cerebri (the sheet of tissue that separates the left and right hemispheres of the brain) was partially ossified, which is apparently of interest -- so we had all the profs and dissection TAs crowding around for a look. This had to happen eventually, I knew that. It was just a bit of a surprise...and, oddly enough, a bit of a loss.
Here you have the random thoughts of Isolde. Isolde is: -somewhat surprised at being a medical student -not going to let her right brain atrophy without a fight -living in an actual apartment for the first time -happily dating Answerboy -prone to ramble -a reader and a would-be writer -completely nonsensical sometimes -very glad you're here
